Artistic Endeavors
by EverSmilingMaze
Summary: Spam friendship. Or not, depending on how much you read into it in that case, there are a LOT of "oh..so close" moments . Sam and Spencer decide to collaborate.


**Hi, people! I can't believe I'm publishing another fanfiction..but I suppose I'll desensitize myself to it eventually. Anywho, enjoy (or not, I won't control you [as much as I'd like to]) the fic. Ooh, idea! REVIEW the fic. I hope this is in-character and that it won't bore you to tears. I wrote it in a hurry, so there are a buttload of spelling erRRorrRSR. See?**

**Well, that was the sales pitch. Have fun reading!  
**

"Spencer, if I show you my bunny I'm afraid you'll force me into intensive art lessons," Sam groaned. "Do you not remember the events of the last two weeks?"

He smirked, "Heck yes I do! Best week and a half relationship if my LIFE."

Spencer had date that hot art teacher for exactly eleven days after their…colorful kiss. It had been bun and sexy, but...

"Too bad she was MARRIED, you Petri dish."

"Hey," Spencer protested, "she didn't_ tell _me! I don't date married women…often…"

Laughing, Sam poked his shoulder with her soup spoon. "You had it for her sooo bad…"

Rolling his eyes, he feigned hurt. "Yeah, cause the making out certainly wasn't the only good part of that relationship.

The spoon was promptly whacked upon his head

"Owww! What was that for, Sam? You hurt my poor cranium."

"Aw, poor baby. I'm still not showing you my rabbit."

"But Carly said it was really really good and I –"

"Well I didn't bring the sketch pad, so boo you."

Spencer sunk into the couch. "Oh…..WAIT!"

"What?"

"The webshow!!!" Rushing over to the computer, he hurriedly pulled up the iCarly webpage and clicked on "recent videos"

"Ughhhhh…" Sam moaned, placing her empty soup bowl over her place "Shit, icarly dot com."

"Hey!" Spencer was watching the show excitedly. "That is one funny bunny."

"Cute."

"No, really! You're great at drawing things of whimsy and crime!"

"A jailrabbit is hardly whimsical, Spence."

"Oooh oooh idea! idea!"

Sam had to let a grin slip. "Oooh oooh what? What?"

"Let's draw something together!" His smile was so broad and eager, Sam found herself agreeing.

"Well, that sounds like fun for rizz, but..aren't you a sculptor?"

Spencer sighed and said exasperatedly, "I swear I've been over this a million times with Carly! Working in 3D makes 2D much –"

"Okay, okay," Sam cut in. "Whaddaya want to do?"

"Um…how about we make a mailbox with really cool—"

"Too hard." Sam sat up. "Maybe we can repaint your motorcycle!"

"Har har. We could create a working windmill using only toothpicks!"

"Too craft-y. We could decorate the inside of a tomb, like the Egyptians!"

Spencer gave her a look.

"Mama _knows_ remedial World History."

Chuckling, Spencer continued brainstorming. "We can make a giant piece of cheese!"

"How about Wicker Man? Euro."

"Too hot. A yodeling reindeer?"

"Too stupid. A harpoon gun that also sprays paint?"

"That actually sounds pretty cool, but I don't really want to INVENT something..."

The two sat in companionable silence for several minutes, each wracking their brain when suddenly the light bulb of inspiration was struck by lightning and a surge of energy shot through their collective minds.

"A BIG-ASS CHALK DRAWING!" They yelled at each other excitedly.

"OhmyGod we can have tigers and whales and –"

" – like an almost abstract –"

"—with a really fat—"

"—and really bright flying—"

And so on, until they ended up in a large rectangle of concrete in the corner of the park. Armed with chalk and energy, the two started their artistic rampage.

"So Spence," Sam started, dragging a vibrant red across the ground.

"Yeah?" Spencer is says from the other corner, tracing a giant leaf in purple.

"You ever did this with your married woman?" She snickered and threw a teasing glance over her shoulder.

"Ah I _wish_!" Spencer exclaimed. "But, unfortunately, she was way better at kissing and being unfaithful than anything artistic"

"At least you've got me!"

Flustered, Spencer sputtered. "What? Huh? I don't have you – uh--- OH MY GOD LOOK AT THAT STINKBUG –"

"Oh my God, Spence," Sam said sardonically, rolling her eyes. "I don't mean _literally_. You're such an awk."

"Well just don't say things like that immediately following playful banter about my ex!"

"I'll try to remember next time. Now, lay down."

"What?!"

"Holy shit, weirdie!" She burst into laughter. "I want to _trace_ you! With, ya know, chalk? To make an outline?"

"Hey!"

"But be careful," Sam mocked, "I might pin ya down and steal your sacred honor! I'll tongue ya! I'll whip off my clothes and breathe heavily! Hell, I might ask you to PUT A BABY IN ME!"

At that moment, a woman walking a mini Schnauzer strolls by and glanced awkwardly in their direction. There was an uncomfortable pause as she, Sam, Spencer, and the dog's gazes met. Once she continued down the path, Sam turned to Spencer.

"I, ah…probably got a little carried away there."

And the two exploded into laughter.

"Oh my God…" Sam finally managed, leaning on Spencer for support, "her fucking DOG totally shared in the TENSO moment!"

Spencer, giggling deeply, said, "All I could notice, though, was its—"

"BEADY LITTLE EYES!" They finished together, roaring in another fit of laughter. "Hers, too." By this time, they were lying beside each other, clutching their stomachs and catching their breath.

"Oh, Sam."

"Oh, Spencer."

"You're just too much." He lifted a leaf out of her fluffy hair and patted it down.

"Whoa, little intimate there, baby." She smiled. "Careful, I might just fling myself upon you!" Spencer smiled and rolled his eyes.

Suddenly, Sam bolted up, "Stay there! I want to trace you exactly like that!" Skipping to the box of chalk she called, "What color do you want?"

"How about one of those awesome ones where, like, two colors are totally _fused_ together?" Spencer closed his eyes and relished this moment, this day. The warm sun beating down softly, the gentle breeze, Sam asking him if he wanted the red and brown chalk or the purple and orange chalk…Sam.

"Purple and orange please!" He shouted, opening his eyes and seeing Sam standing directly above him. "Whoa, hi."

"I knew you'd choose that one, but I brought both. Now," she plopped down beside him and blew her bangs out of her way, "time to desensitize yourself, cause I'm about to invade your personal space" With that, she leaned over and began to trace, her hair falling into his face.

Spence spat and shook his face. "_Really_, Sam? You – hey, you smell really good. Like….good-smelling…shampoo."

He heard her snort. "Thanks Spence. You don't, but that could just be that pile of dog crap over there. Now, spread'em."

"What?!"

Sam laughed. "This is waaaaay too easy. But I'm serious this time. I need to trace 'that' region. But don't worry, I'll make it quick."

"At least I'm wearing pants."

"That definitely helps."

"You sure trace fast."

"I hope you do too. I'm going to lie on my side when you do me. Hah, how's _that_ for suggestive?"

"Ignoring."

"It's so you'll be forced to trace the outline of my boobs. There, finished." She stood triumphantly and held out her hand. "Your turn, babe. I'll be sure to make it as uncomfortable as possible for you."

"You're a monster." Spencer chuckled. "But, I am, alas, an artist, and to suffer for my work is only natural."

"Don't try to hide your excitement. I'm in position."

"God damn it, Sam." He shook his head and knelt down, the brown and red chalk in hand, and began to trace.

A few hours later, the pair stood side by side and examined their masterpiece.

"Gotta say," Spencer said, clapping his hand on Sam's shoulder. "It looks pretty good, kiddo."

"Don't call me that."

Even in the dying light, however, Spencer was right. Their grey canvas had been transformed with images of flying hams, multicolored zombies fighting tigers with spikes, all the planets (even Pluto, and Spencer had felt so sorry for the little guy that he drew it the largest), more "jailrabbits"(Sam had drawn the jail_bait_-y ones, just to spite Spencer), and, of course, their outlines, right in the center. Sam's outline's hair whipped out behind her, her body facing Spencer, seeming almost as if it was in flight. Spencer's image had a hand pointing to Sam and the other raised over his head in a heroic fist.

"Too bad it'll be rained away in a matter of minutes," Sam sighed. "Thanks, Seattle."

"But it looks awesome now!"

"Yeah." Sam put her head on his shoulder. "Thanks, Spence."

"Thank _you_. I haven't had so much fun in ages."

"I was wrong."

"Huh?" Spencer looked at the top of Sam's head. "What are you talking about?"

From his shoulder, Sam inhaled deeply. "You actually smell pretty damn good."

**....You made it! The end! I'm thinking about expanding this to include more instances of Spam collaboration, but...tell me what you think.**


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